Posts Tagged ‘lubricants’

Travelling with your Toy!

Tuesday, August 9th, 2011

Planning a summer getaway?  From last minute weekend getaways to week long vacations, it is always exciting to take along something a little naughty for some extra-memorable holiday excursions.

Here are some tips and suggestion on traveling with toys:

Rechargeable vs. Battery operated – depending on where you are traveling, taking along extra batteries or a charger could be a hassle or helpful. If you are traveling overseas or out of the country you may be better off to choose a toy that recharges through a USB port on your laptop rather than an electrical outlet in case there are compatibility issues.  Otherwise, a battery operated toy is another reliable option.  Traveling with a toy that uses easily accessible batteries like AA or AAA instead of specific cell batteries would be another consideration although an extra set can be packed before you travel.

If your favorite toy is a rechargeable one, adaptors are available from most companies.

Top Rechargeable Travel Toys: Lelo Mia

Top Battery Operated Travel Toys: Black Jewel, Water Dancer and Bcute Curve

Waterproof – water can play a huge part of any summer holiday whether it is a private cottage near a lake, a hotel pool, or a private hot tub for two.  It is always a good idea to be prepared with a waterproof toy for any adventurous activity that may arise.

Top Waterproof Travel Toys: Form 2, Fun Factory Flash, Iconic Bullet and Lelo Alia

Storageif you are travelling by air make sure to pack your toys with the batteries removed and in your checked luggage.  Always remove batteries before travelling in case it accidentally turns on in your luggage and if it is a rechargeable toy, turn the lock function on or store it in its own hard case until you get to your destination. 

If you are travelling with a sex toy in your carry on, also make sure you store the batteries in a separate place so you don’t encounter some accidental buzzing enroute.  And if you do get some question regarding your selection of carry-ons…it is what it is and it happens more often than you think!

Lubricant!  Don’t forget to pack small travel size lubes or transfer some of your favorite into a small travel bottle.

Click here to view Honey’s entire Mini and Bullet sized vibrators to get your summer buzz!

How To Use A Glass Sex Toy

Tuesday, June 7th, 2011

Glass is a fantastic material for adult toys because it is completely frictionless, non-porous, phthalate free, and hypoallergenic.

Some of the greatest feedback we get from customers that purchase glass for the first time is how surprised they are at how much they enjoyed the unique sensation.

Features of Glass

We’ve already mentioned that they are hypoallergenic and body safe, but glass is also completely frictionless and smooth against the skin. With very little lubricant you can easily use glass toys both anally and vaginally without the need to re-apply.

Glass is also a great conductor of hot or cold sensations. You can warm up the glass toy in warm water or the microwave and the glass will hold onto the heat for extended periods and then slowly adjust to your body temperature. You can also cool down the glass by running it under cold water or placing it in the fridge or freezer.  The different temperature sensation are very stimulating both internally and externally.  If you do not warm or cool down the glass, the toy will easily and quickly take on your body’s core temperature for a comfortable play time.

The weight of the glass is also very erotic.  Feeling the natural weight of the toy is extremely rousing and distinctive in its sensation.

Clean up is also a breeze with glass toys.  It can be simply washed down with soap and water, boiled or placed in the dish washer. 

With proper care, glass toys are very durable and can last a lifetime. 

Glass Toys:

Glass Dildos come in a variety of shapes, sizes and colors. The Larger full sized dildos like Blossom and Masagi provide a full length and have some added texture and a slight curve without being overwhelming.

Toys like the Sunlight, Pink Indulgence and Crystal G have a little less length but have a distinctive curved to stimulate the G-spot.  These glass toys also allow you to use either end for stimulation.  

Then there are more phallic shaped dildos like 7th Heaven that has textured ridges at the top but maintains a more realistic shape.

The Onyx is the same size and shape as the Crystal G but has added texture at the curved tip designed to specifically target and stimulate the prostate for men. Silksurra is specially designed as an anal plug with the full retrieval ring and curved tip for men or women.

Most of the glass toys can be used vaginally as well as anally.

Newer on the market are some amazing glass toys that actually vibrate! The Glass Waterproof Vibrator and G-spot Glass Waterproof Vibrator both have three speeds of vibration and designed to be used both internally and externally. They are a incredible addition to our array of glass toys as they do double duty as both a dildo and vibrator.

Stainless Steel

The Njoy Pure Wand is a medical grade stainless steel product. Stainless steel and glass are very similar in their properties in that both are frictionless, hypoallergenic, body safe, non-porous and phthalate free. The largest difference is the weight of the stainless steel, it has a very pleasant heavy weight to it which adds an exceptional pleasure sensation.

Glass toys are not only wonderful to use but beautiful to behold as well.  We hope you will enjoy your new addition and keep having fun!

How To Masturbate Your Man

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011

A friendly little hand shandy with our lover can often intimidate us, but learning a few new techniques can make this an exciting part of foreplay and the most memorable event of the evening.  Yes, he knows what technique will get him off fast and furious but really, it’s not you, and when you take the time and effort to provide some new manual masturbation sensations for your partner he will be forever thankful.

First things first, be prepared. Make sure your hands are clean and there are no rough edges or hang nails. It also helps to remove any rings or jewellery. Lubricant is a necessity for keeping things slick, slippery and frictionless.  Use water or silicone based lubricant if you’re planning on using a condom later on, but if you’re not then an oil based lubricant such as the Stroke 29 or Rocket Balm is the perfect slippery masturbation cream that will put his pleasure over the top.  Always warm up the lubricant (and your hands!) before contacting his skin by placing the bottle in hot water or rubbing your hands briskly together. Keep a towel or pleasure wipes close at hand for quick and easy clean up afterwards.

Get comfortable. It is never fun to be feeling sore or with your body at an awkward angle when you are trying to focus on giving him pleasure, so make sure that you’re in a position where you can comfortably maintain movement for a length of time.  Try down between his knees, sitting beside him or coming in from behind him. And remember: how you angle your body for comfort can also give him an erotic view of your body and face, which is an additional turn on.

Getting started. Remember that anticipation is half the fun, run your fingers along his waist band and along his thighs and butt cheeks, everywhere but where he really wants you to touch. Once you do make contact with his genitals keep the contact light to start and make sure to give the entire genital area a light touch or tease to get him ready. When starting to grip his shaft, keep it light at the beginning and then gently pulse or squeeze working your way to a firmer and tighter grip.

The techniques.  The foundation of a good hand job is to create an essential up and down movement creating a virtual vagina with your hand. Grip your dominant well lube hand around the shaft and use your alternate hand to stabilize or position his penis. Move your hand in a solid up and down fluid movement without losing contact with his penis, at first work the entire shaft fairly slowly and closer to orgasm speed up and work closer to the head. Be sure to ask for feedback and he will be glad to give you a pointers for what he likes best. Start with a light grip and gradually increase the tightness of your grip without causing any discomfort. Keep your movement steady and fluid; not jerky, and add a slight back and forth twisting motion as you go up and down for varied sensation. Don’t pull the skin with you; just allow your grip to move smoothly over the skin.

Get your other hand in on the action. You can use your less dominant hand to play, tickle and caress his testicles and you can massage his perineum which will indirectly stimulate his prostate.  If he likes it, you can stimulate his anus both internally and externally but be sure to give him warning.

It’s good to communicate with your partner about their likes and dislikes, especially with the happy ending. He may prefer you to maintain the firm, quick strokes right up until he ejaculates, or he may prefer a gentler slower motion with his ejaculation. You won’t know until you ask. Finally, it is always a nice touch to help him clean up when you’re done.

Advanced Techniques:

Let’s Twist Again – With each hand, form and okay signal with your thumb and index finger. (You can also use the middle finger if you prefer) Place your hands one on top of the other, starting at the base of the shaft. Twist each hand back and forth in opposite directions as they move in unison up and down the shaft.  Be sure to use a good amount of lubrication.

String of Pearls – Using a string of pearls or Bijoux Pearl Handcuffs and a good amount of lubricant, twist the pearls around your hand and then use that hand to stroke up and down the penis shaft. The feel of the jostling beads is fantastic against the penis. Alternatively you can wrap the beads loosely around his shaft and twist them gently as you stroke up and down for an unforgettable finale.

Giving Thanks – Put both your hands around his shaft with your fingers interlocks and your thumbs overlapping on the opposite side. Move up and down with firm pressure. Closing in on the head when your fingers pass it but don’t lose contact with the shaft entirely. You can add a slight squeezing and releasing around the shaft as you go up and down.

Get Inspired by Chocolate

Monday, February 1st, 2010

The delicious sweet slightly bitter taste of chocolate is said to be the ultimate love potion. It has even been rumored to be better than sex! So it would be natural to combine the two best things in life this Valentines Day. Chocolate comes in many forms at Honey, this Valentine’s Day discover how you can surprise your partner with chocolate…

Kama Sutra Chocolate Body Paint: Kama Sutra creates one of the most decadently delicious body paints with which to paint your lover and then slowly lick and nibble off. Imagine capping your evening lying comfortably with chocolate body paint, delicious fruits such as strawberries and a bottle of champagne. Feed your partner strawberries covered in chocolate and trace their body with the soft brush dipped in chocolate the path you want your mouth to take. Decadent yes and a complete sensual experience of touch, taste, smell, and visuals to make this Valentine’s unforgettable. The body paint by Kama Sutra is now also available in a Dark Chocolate Raspberry or Caramel so you can delight your senses with three times the fun.

Milk Chocolate Afterglow Massage Candle: Enjoy a sensual evening of erotic massage with the rich scent of milk chocolate delighting your senses. Jimmy Jane’s Afterglow Massage Candle will set the mood with a warm sexy glow, fill the room with a delightful aroma, and best of all it turns into a warm and loving massage oil filled with essential oils that will leave your skin feeling beautiful and soft. The experience of the warm oil and full-bodied scents will give you an unbelievably erotic experience.

Kama Sutra Sweetheart Kit: A heart shaped gift box filled with everything deliciously edible; Kama Sutra Body Paint, Chocolate Body Dust and a Chocolate Massage Crème. Enjoy dessert like never before. Massage, tickle and nibble your way through a decadent night in. The body dust can also be used on your sheets to surround yourself with silky softness and the aphrodisiac aroma of chocolate.

Chocolate Martini Recipe:
-2oz base spirit (choose your favorite light rum, vodka or brandy)
-1.5oz chocolate liqueur
- 1.5oz crème de cacao
-Chocolate syrup to coat the rim of martini / or light chocolate shaving to decorate top
-Coat rim with chocolate syrup; mix ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice and then strain into a martini glass.
Enjoy!

Wicked Pleasures Edible and Warming Chocolate Massage Oil: Traditional massage oil with a warming sensation and the delicious scent and taste of rich chocolate. What more could you ask for from a massage oil? Treat your partner to an all over erotic massage with this slick and slippery oil. The natural ingredients are fantastic for the skin and make this oil taste like it should with minimal aftertaste.

Chocolates Indulge Yourself Couples Kit: Experience a decadent night of hedonistic pleasure with this sexy couples kit. Three different vibrators to satisfy your every desire and a delicious chocolate body spread to make your honey melt.

Hathor Strawberry Chocolate Lubricant: A yummy strawberry chocolate flavored lubricant for your oral play will complete your Valentine’s Day! Made with natural organic ingredients and sweetened with stevia you don’t have to worry about any artificial tastes. And if you weren’t horny enough…this lube also has horny goat weed to help make the fun last all night long.

Get adventurous this Valentines and enjoy chocolate in all its forms!

Happy Valentine’s Day,
Love Honey

G-Spot Orgasms

Wednesday, December 9th, 2009

“The G-spot is not a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. It is a place in your body…It’s a real, tangible thing, like my breasts and your clitoris, and you can even see it. But for some reason, lots of people seem to think the G-spot is a myth. Or a rumor…No – it’s a real thing, and it makes you come, hard, period. No deep wisdom, soul-searching or goddess worship necessary. But a little knowledge helps.” (The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-spot Book)

Even with our modern sex education the G-spot has often been misunderstood and thought to be a myth of unreal proportions. We at Honey wish to state that this is untrue and the G-spot is very real and a great way to enhance your sexual experience and keep the orgasms coming.

What is the G-spot?

Around the urethra is a ring of spongy erectile tissue that both men and women have and it is essential for your orgasm pleasures. It is connected to your clitoris and the nerve ending are packed with pleasurable sensations when stimulated.

Where is the G-spot?

Your G-spot is located about 2” inside your body on the upper wall of your vagina towards your belly button. Remember that everyone is created differently so your g-spot could be slightly further or closer than the average 2”. When you become aroused the tissue of the G-spot begins to have a different sensation, it can feel slightly ridged and firmer to the touch and often described in books as being similar to an almond. This is your G-spot, and once you’ve found it you can begin to enjoy a whole variety of new sensations! Some great books for learning more about your G-spot are The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-spot and Female Ejaculation and the G-spot and if you learn better with visuals the Expert Guide to the G-Spot by Tristan Taormino DVD or Maximizing G-Spot Pleasures DVD are great options.

Stimulating the G-Spot

Stimulating the G-spot is not like stimulating the clitoris, to fully enjoy the sensation of G-spot orgasm you need to press more firmly then you would for clitoral play and that can take some getting used to. Sometime when you are playing with your G-spot you can begin to feel like you need to go to the bathroom, this is not usually the case but to relieve your mind we recommend going to the bathroom before playtime. Begin by getting yourself aroused so the G-spot swells and then gently insert your fingers or a toy, curving upward and pushing firmly. Try stroking firmly with the “come hither” motion. Using firm toys such as the Tulip G, Chubby G or Lelo Gigi are fantastic for G-spot play because they allow you to press more firmly without much effort. Once you have become more familiar with your G-spot you may want to try a toy with a bit more flexibility such as the Fun Factory G-swirl, or Worm Vibrator that will provide you with a softer and more flexible G-spot stimulation.

Play and Experiment

With your G-spot stimulation you may find that you prefer different sensations over others, you may prefer a very firm solid sensation that can be achieved with the Masagi Glass Toy or to have it rhythmically stroked with a swooping sensation with a toy like the Rabbit Habit or Thrusting Hummingbird. You may enjoy having your clitoris stimulated at the same time, which can be achieved with dual action toys like the G-spot Rabbit or Fun Factory Paul and Paulina. Experimenting with different toys and sensations is a great way to learn your body and discover what is most enjoyable to achieving an internal G-spot orgasm for years to come.

Sharing your G-spot

G-spot stimulation does not need to only be a solo exercise, your partner would probably love to join in the fun and they can use their fingers or control a toy to help you achieve orgasmic bliss. Certain positions such as being penetrated by the rear or her on top can also help to achieve maximum G-spot sensation during intercourse. Using sex positions tools such as the Liberator Wedge and Ramp combo can help you to maintain certain G-spot friendly positions with ease. Great options to discovering positions to stimulate the G-spot during intercourse are The Expert Guide to Positions DVD and The Art of Sexual Positions DVD.
A new dual action toy called the We-vibe can be used during intercourse to stimulate the G-spot and clitoris simultaneously while also providing him with some well-deserved vibration sensation. Sharing this orgasm can help teach your partner more about your body and how you enjoy being touched and caressed.

Female Ejaculation

Many women ejaculate when their muscles contract during a G-spot orgasm. Firstly congratulations, you have found a new avenue of sexual pleasure, secondly do not freak out, this is a different fluid from urine and a completely natural and common occurrence amongst women. If you do not ejaculate there is nothing wrong either, sometimes having an object such as a toy can block the ejaculation from happening and you can do so after it has been removed, and sometimes women do not ejaculate. If you are one that ejaculates, using the Sex Blanket that is completely waterproof but soft and sumptuous, can keep you sheets
clean and dry especially if you produce copious amounts of fluids.

Remember there is no right or wrong when exploring your body, what feels right is usually right!

Pegging

Thursday, November 12th, 2009

There has been a tremendous increase in anal play between straight men and women (also known as pegging) over the eight years Honey has been in business. We are delighted to see how sexually at ease many couples have become. The stigma that one must be gay or anal sex damages ones body has been debunked and we have some tips to share on how to enjoy anal play safely while making the experience even more pleasurable for both partners.

Anal play is a great way to stimulate the prostate (p-spot), which is the male equivalent of the female g-spot. The prostate can be easily stimulated with a well-lubed finger curved towards the belly button two to three inches into the rectum. A man can have an orgasm just by slowly stimulating the prostate or intensify his orgasm by stimulating both the p-spot and the penis. A small vibrating toy or a full dildo preferable with a curve can be an excellent addition. The important thing to remember about anal play is that it is suppose to be fun and pleasurable, so communicating what you like or dislike is key to enjoying yourself. Take your time and go slowly with plenty of foreplay.

Key Points of Enjoyable Anal Play/Pegging:

1. Cleanliness: Good hygiene is important when exploring anal play; be sure to keep your hands clean and your nails trimmed when using fingers to explore. Make sure you have chosen toys that can be easily cleaned and/or sterilized after use and NEVER insert anything that has been in your anus into your vagina or mouth until after it has been cleaned.

2. Communication: Making sure to keep the lines of communication open at all times. From initiating anal play all the way to enjoying it, you want to make sure your partner is comfortable with each step along the way.

3. Relaxation: Anal play can be painful especially if you have not taken the time to prepare yourself and relax into the sensation. Rushing can cause discomfort and can make you or your partner resistant to trying it again, so make sure to take your time and go at a comfortable pace for both you and your partner.

4. Lubrication: ALWAYS USE LUBE. The anus itself does not produce any lubrication and if you try to play with dry skin you can easily hurt the thin skin of the rectum. To help ease the way for your fingers or toys, it is essential to use a good lubricant for a comfortable and enjoyable back door play session. Apply lubricant liberally and don’t be afraid to add more during, it will only increase the pleasure. Some great suggestions for anal play are Slippery Stuff water based lubricant. This lube is gel like in texture providing a thicker barrier between the toy/finger and delicate anal tissue. Another good option is a silicone based lubricant because they do not dry out even under water. Try ID Millennium or Jo Silicone based lubricant, but make sure you don’t use the silicone lube with a silicone sex toy.

5. Once you’ve mastered the basics and feel comfortable with anal play you can introduce toys, harnesses, and dildos and so much more into your anal play.

Harnesses: Using a harness allows you to strap a dildo to yourself with comfort and stability. It also allows you the versatility of changing the size of your dildos with interchangeable rings that can accommodate different sizes. The Venus Leather Harness and Vibrating Velvet Corset Harness are both sturdy and allow for different sizes of dildos while still being soft and comfortable.

Dildos: You may prefer to start with a smaller dildo when first venturing into anal play as this can help ease the transition from fingers to toys without being too imposing. The Bend Over Beginner kit provides you with a velvet harness and two different sizes of dildos to transition you from a smaller dildo to larger one and accommodating rings for even larger dildos if you desire. The Fun Factory Bandito and Tiger are flexible silicone dildos with wide bases that can easily fit into harnesses to provide different textures and curves for more variety in sensation. When using a dildo we recommend using one with a slight curve upwards to help stimulate the prostate and fit more naturally with the body.

Double Ended Dildos: The double ended dildo is a great way to experience anal play without the harness getting in the way of skin on skin contact. This type of dildo also provides both partners with simultaneous stimulation. The Fun Factory Share and Tango allow you to insert the bean shaped blunt end into your vagina and you hold it in place with the strength of your kegal muscles. The vaginal end also curves for g-spot stimulation in her. After you have inserted the `bean’ shaped end, you are left with the dildo pointed outward and held close to your body so you can enjoy the sensual skin to skin contact during your anal play. These sex toys can also be inserted into a harness when first starting out so that you can strengthen your kegal muscles before trying it on its own. The Tango also has the added benefit of a hole at the base of the toy for inserting a bullet so you get the benefit of vibrations sent down the shaft and into the vaginal end.

Always remember that anal sex is not supposed to hurt. If it is painful, stop and engage in more foreplay or try it again another night. If you are concerned about cleanliness, you can always use an anal douche with warm water 1-2 hours before you engage in anal play.

Educate yourself with wonderful DVDs such as The Better Sex Guide to Anal Pleasure and Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Anal Sex.

The Low Down on Going Down

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

Going down on your partner is exciting because you are providing your partner with the ultimate sexual pleasure and demonstrating your skill as a lover but it can also be nerve racking if you don’t know what you are doing. We have outlined some very useful tips and techniques to help you take her to new heights of sexual pleasure so you can go down and have fun!

1. Position. Make sure both of you are comfortable. Use pillows beneath your knees if she is standing up so that you won’t be paying more attention to your aching knees than her sexual pleasure. Use pillows or positions aids such as the liberator to angle her hips for easy access. There are a number of ways to provide oral sex for your partner, you can have her straddling your face and holding herself balanced using the head board. This position is sexy and she can have more control. The traditional cunnilingus position with her laying on her back and you between her legs, this is especially good if she is feeling a little self conscious, or her standing and you kneeling between her legs, this appeals to the alpha females and gives you easy access to all her sexy parts.

2. Technique. Don’t just pull of her panties, take it slow, maybe tease through the fabric and tease and tantalize. Make sure you make an effort to relax your tongue as you don’t want it too stiff and pointed, especially in the beginning when it is nice to warm up with broader strokes. An especially great tongue technique is the figure eight, by moving your tongue around more sensitive areas and not just the clitoris you can really rev her engine. Be sure to vary your strokes, fast to slow, firm to gentle, zigzag your tongue and watch her body language because she will let you know which of those she likes best.

3. Lubes and Vibes. Sometimes it is fun to add a small vibrator such as the finger fun or the 5x Finger Vibe to your oral play, these small vibrators can help you bring her to intense orgasms. The fukuoku and finger vibe allow you to slip the vibe onto your finger so you can easily access her clitoris, labia and anus for a full range of vibration sensation. This can help take her over the edge into bliss. Lubricant can also be a fun addition, it is especially helpful if your mouth is feeling dry. There are some deliciously flavored natural lubricants such as the Hathor Flavored Lube or O’My on the market, these help to make you tongue slip and slide as well as taste delicious.

If you are wanting to learn more about how to take your oral sex techniques to new heights and provide even more pleasure then we recommend checking out the Low Down on Going Down Book, or if you’re a visual learner you can also try the Expert Guide to Oral Sex; Cunnilingus DVD. Also already packaged and ready for you is the Low Down on Going Down Honeycomb Gift box, it has everything you need all neatly packages for her oral pleasures!

How To Choose A Sexual Lubricant

Monday, June 9th, 2008

Choosing the right lubricant can greatly enhance your sexual pleasure whether with a partner or for use on a sex toy. It decreases the friction and creates a slippery entry for your partner or toy. When choosing the right lubricant for you it can get overwhelming, this guide will help you choose the perfect sexual lubricant for you your toys and partner to use.

Specialty Lubes for Women. Lubricants designed just for women are generally very gentle and glycerin free. This helps to prevent the possibility of yeast infections in those with very sensitive skin. Some fantastic lubes for women are the Pink Lubricants, as well as the JO Agape.

Silicone Based Lubricants. If you like to have sex in the shower but find that the water washes away your lubricant then silicone is the one for you. This lube stays slippery until you wash it off with soap and water, no need to reapply, perfect for playtime in the bathtub. Some fun silicone lubricants to try are the ID Millennium or the Pink Silicone. Silicone lubricants should not be used with silicone toys; this can slowly erode the toy’s silicone exterior.

Flavored Lubricant. Flavored lubricants are the perfect choice for oral sex. They smell and taste delicious, while making it easier to perform. Some fun tastes to try are the O’My Flavors such as Melon or Pina Colada, JO flavors such as Strawberry or Tangerine, Hathor’s flavors such as Chocolate Strawberry or Hazelnut Caramel, and ID’s fun flavors such as Bubblegum or Mint.

Warming Lubricants. To add some heat to your sex play, try using a warming lubricant. This lubricant heats up against the skin providing a fun heated tingling sensation. Some fun lubes to try are the JO Warming, ID Warming or Pink Warming.

Textures: Lubricants have a variety of textures to think about. Whether it be smooth and watery or a thick gel you should choose the right lubricant for the play at hand. Thicker textures such as Slippery Stuff are fantastic for anal play. The thicker solution coats the body and stays for longer. Thinner lubricants such as O’my Natural or JO H2O are fantastic for sex play with your partner or with a toy.

Glycerin Free. Glycerin is a type of complex sugar, and found in most lubricants. Specialty lubricants especially for women are glycerin free. This is helpful for women with recurring yeast infection or severe sensitivity.

Water Based. Water based lubricants are among the most popular lubricants. Water based is safe for all sex toys and is very easy to clean.

Using a lubricant is a sure way to enhance your sexual play and fun, and with the varieties available you will be sure to find just the right one for you and your partner. Enjoy!

Honey’s Q & A: After Pregnancy Intimacy

Tuesday, February 19th, 2008


Q: I had a baby two months ago. My heart and brain are screaming for sex, but my body is still saying ‘no way!’ Will I ever be able to enjoy sex again?

A: Congratulations on the new addition to your family. You can certainly enjoy sex after pregnancy. The key is going slow and listening to your body.

Much will depend on how much wear and tear you experienced while giving birth. If you were torn or had an episiotomy, it could take longer before you truly feel comfortable during sex. Exactly how long depends on a number of things, including how long you normally take to heal, the extent of tearing or type of episiotomy, length of labor and whether the delivery was assisted by forceps or vacuum extraction.

Kegel exercises, up to 100 per day, are one step to getting your pelvic floor muscles strong again. Find the muscles by imagining you’re urinating. Squeeze the muscles as if you were stopping the flow of urine. Let go and try again. Squeeze and release repeatedly to strengthen the vaginal muscles. Adding a toy designed to help with Kegels such as Smart Balls or Lelo Luna Luxury Balls can be helpful and fun.

Even without tears, you will likely notice your vagina does not lubricate as well as before. This is due to low levels of estrogen. Also, breastfeeding can increase dryness as lactating women produce fewer of the ovarian hormones that make you lubricate. This means a good water-based lube is a must.

Plenty of foreplay is essential too. Not only will it help move lubrication along, but if your body isn’t feeling up to the act itself, foreplay can be the main event. Plenty of cuddling, petting, oral sex and mutual masturbation will help keep you and your partner physically close.

As your body heals, you may find certain sexual positions you enjoyed pre-pregnancy and even while pregnant no longer feel comfortable. Rather than dwelling on this as a negative, use it as an opportunity to try new positions. You may be pleasantly surprised. Side-to-side or woman-on-top positions will allow you more control and put less stress on body parts that may still be healing.

Most of all keep communicating with your partner and keep a sense of humor. If pain persists, see your doctor.

How to Have Backdoor Fun

Monday, November 5th, 2007


Did you take a sharp breath just now? Or perhaps your virgin bum cheeks are clenched together? Take a deep breath and relax for the ride. It needn’t be scary and will enhance your boudoir routine when you follow our steps. After all, the anal area is rich with nerve endings and muscles, making the right touch a pleasure for women and men. For guys, it can put pressure on the prostate, resulting in a mind-blowing orgasm. And for gals, the G-spot can be stimulated indirectly during anal sex. But before you dive in, here are a few important tips.

1.Lube, lube, and more lube
The anus doesn’t lubricate like the vagina. This makes the right lubricant a must-have accessory for backdoor play. A water-based, glycerin-free lube like Slippery Stuff is compatible with latex and silicone, so can be used with condoms. Slippery Stuff is thick, so it forms a protective coat on your delicate behind. A silicone-based lube such as ID Millennium will not dry out, keeping you slick and ready for action, even under water. Make sure you pick the right lube for you.

2. Take your time
Many people are scared off anal play by the delicate nature of the area. Because the rectum’s tissue is quite sensitive, it is possible to tear it. However, the correct type of lube is a big part of keeping your heinie intact, as is taking things slowly. Start with feeling the outside of your own or your partner’s bottom first. You may be surprised at the sensitive spots you find before entry. A tongue or very well lubed finger is a good way to start.

3. Keep it clean
If the whole poop thing gives you the heebie jeebies, the ‘receiver’ can go to the bathroom first and follow up with a shower. Indeed, or the whole enchilada can take place in the shower too. The ‘giver’ may also wear a latex glove with plenty of lube to keep his or her hands pristine. A well-lubed condom goes without saying.

4. Education
Before forging ahead, stimulate the mind with instructional DVDs. A good DVD will use real couples to show watchers positions in detail, so there are no convoluted diagrams to follow. Many show you the physiology of anal stimulation and how to prepare for it, along with debunking the myths about anal. Some also touch on topics like safe sex and anal hygiene. Worthwhile DVDs include The Better Guide to Anal Pleasure and Expert Guide to Anal Sex For a New Generation, both by Tristan Taormino.

5. Play safe with the right toys
Yikes! Imagine the embarrassment of heading to the emergency room because you lost a toy in your bum. Yes, it can happen if you don’t use the correct toys. Anal toys should have a flanged end to prevent this from occurring.

6. Plugs
Butt plugs like the Ashley Tush Toy have a thin neck and flanged base so they can’t completely slip inside. The Ashley has the added bonus of an opening at the base, where a small bullet vibrator can fit inside for a little extra zip.

7. Anal Beads
Centuries of bead enthusiasts can’t be wrong! Beads make the sphincter muscles contract. Beads + muscle contractions = Amazing Orgasms. A nice equation, don’t you think? Modern designs, such as Silicone X-10 Beads, feature seamless graduated anal beads. Gently insert the smallest and work your way up according to your comfort zone. Gently pull them out as you climax to kick it up a notch.

For beginners looking for the complete package, the Tush-tastic Kit is simply bootylicious! It includes everything you’ll need: The Better Sex Guide to Anal Pleasure DVD; Ashley Tush Toy; Power Bullet; Jelly Anal Beads and Slippery Stuff lube.