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Incredible New Sex Techniques to Try Tonight!

Monday, April 30th, 2012

Let’s be honest. Sex can get monotonous. Even the most adventurous people in the most fulfilling relationships can fall into a routine after a while. Thankfully, there are lots of books out there that offer sex tips and techniques in every area of sexual pleasure. We’ve summarized some of our favorites for you so you can spend less time reading about them and more time practicing!

Hot Tongue Encounters
Throughout most relationships, make-out sessions become shorter and shorter. To revive that feeling, try not kissing your partner for a few days. No tongue, no quick kisses goodbye, nothing. When you do start kissing again, take it slow. When your lips meet, deliver a light, full-mouthed kiss (no tongue yet). Close your eyes and get lost in the sensations of your partner, tasting their breath and feeling the warmth and texture of their lips. Remember to move your hands on your partner’s hands, hips, head, or wherever they like them. The slow experience will allow you to rediscover your partner while increasing anticipation of getting your tongues together. When both of you can take it anymore, gently and shallowly start using your tongue. From there, you can keep making out or see where your hands wander.

Orgasmic Hands
Often overlooked because they are something we can give ourselves, a nice old fashion can definitely add a little spice to any sexual encounter. For her, you can stimulate unseen parts of the clitoris with the V technique. The clitoris is comparable in size to the penis and has legs that run behind the outer labia. To stimulate her this way, make your index and middle finger into a V.  Place them on both sides of her clitoris. Massage her outer labia and apply different pressures, either with both fingers in sync or opposite each other. When you move your hands up and down, it will stimulate her inner clit while moving her clitoral hood, which will stimulate her outer clit. And don’t forget lube! It’s an absolute must for hand jobs.

For him, firstly remember that men are visual creatures. Utilize this by getting into a position that shows him the goods. With him on his back, straddle him between your legs facing his penis. This will give you an angle at which you can use both hands to roam over his cock, balls, ass, and everywhere else while letting him view your femininity in all of its glory. If you like, he can pleasure you at the same time. Or else you can make him wait, all the while telling him what you want him to do to your pussy when he finally gets the chance. And again, don’t forget lube! If you’re not jumping into vaginal sex or sex with a condom after a little wrist action, try an oil-based lubricant like stroke 29. These thicker lubes last longer and get extra slick, perfect for a good ol’ hand shandy.

Non-Verbal Oral
Oral sex is often incorporated into foreplay, but it’s no secret that a prolonged oral session focused on you can leave you feeling euphoric and seemingly more grateful for your partner than ever before. To leave a lasting impression on her, focus on her clitoris without making it the star of the show. You can use a tongue vibrator on her clit while you focus on where your hands are wandering, or use your mouth on areas just outside her clitoris (outer labia, U-spot below or mons pubis above her clitoris.) You can also prop a Liberator Jaz underneath her to give yourself a different angle of her clitoris to stimulate. And be sure to let your hands wander to her G-spot, backdoor, nipples, or wherever she directs you.

On him, you are in the perfect position to stimulate his prostate. To do this, slowly and gently insert one or two fingers into his ass. Once you get past your second knuckle, curve your fingers in a “come hither” motion with the curve facing his belly button. You should feel a firm round bulb similar in texture to the tip of your nose. Congratulations you found the prostate! Now you can massage and apply pressure to your partner’s liking. Or experiment with prostate massagers to continue the job while you two move on to other stuff. And don’t forget that both communication and lube are paramount in this situation. Without either, even the most sexually charged situations can fizzle immediately.

Grinding to a Screeching Finale
The possibilities of sexual positions is endless, especially when you use variations of thrusting, grinding, hip flicking, and depth of insertion. To experiment with thrusting, try the coital alignment technique. Similar to missionary position, this technique allows the penetrator to enter his partner at a higher angle, which puts pressure on both the G-spot and the clitoris through penetration alone and puts delicious pressure on the base of the penis. To do this, she lies on her back and he lies on top of her with his pelvis higher than her clitoris. He relaxes his upper body and she wraps her legs around his thighs and rests her ankles on his calves. Then both partners start thrusting slowly and steady. The idea is to get your each thrust synchronized so that the clitoris hits the base of the penis with each thrust. This position also allows for face-to-face intimacy and can create different orgasmic sensations when using grinding instead of thrusting.

The Ménage a Trois
Anal sex itself can break a sexual routine, no matter who’s on the receiving end. However, anal sex is a great way to experience a threesome fantasy without creating feelings of jealousy or insecurity within your committed relationship. For her, strap on the ménage a trois harness or have her use a dildo to penetrate herself vaginally or orally while your penis is in her ass. For men, jack him off with a masturbation sleeve as you stimulate him anally. The texture will resemble a vagina or mouth without another person to get in the way. You can name the dildo or masturbation sleeve to further enhance the fantasy, or get a bunch of dildos to make it a party!

For more sex tips and techniques, check out Porn Star Secrets of Sex by Jeni West, Secrets of a Supersexpert by Tracey Cox, or any one of our fabulous instructional or erotic DVDs. And remember that learning about sexual techniques takes communication and repetition, so keep practicing!

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Tantric Sex

Tuesday, April 3rd, 2012

Tantric sex is a great way to connect to your partner sexually, emotionally, and spiritually. In this ancient Eastern spiritual practice, sex is embraced as a legitimate and effective pathway to enlightenment. It utilizes techniques such as touch and breath to move the sexual energy we typically carry only in our genitals to the rest of the body, turning the whole body into a sex organ. It also forces you to slow down and spend time discovering your body and your partner’s body through honesty and exploration of the senses and encouraging the end result of sex to be enlightenment, not orgasm.

Even if you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, tantra can help you rediscover your passion and intimacy for your partner. Tantra encourages us to replace the idea of “falling in love” with that of “rising in love”, making intimate relationships a place of constant learning and discovery about our partners and ourselves.

To begin your tantric journey, it is usually helpful to pick up a guide, such as Tantric Sex or The Tantric Guide to Better Sex. However, there are a few things you can do tonight to introduce the idea of tantric sex into your relationship.

Create a sacred space
An important step to practicing tantra is to create a space to do so. Invest in your bedroom to make it seductive and comfortable for you. Get some candles. Invest in some above 400 thread count sheets and warm blankets.  Hang art or paint the walls a color that gets your sexual energy moving (purples, oranges, creams). Decorate with things that are erotic or meaningful to you, whether it is a statue, flowers, or seashells.  Remember to leave all your work (or food or board games or whatever) at the door and focus on making your bedroom a sacred space for you and your partner.  And don’t forget to pick up your dirty clothes or put away any papers. Clutter isn’t seductive.

Engage in the senses
Tantra encourages us to discover our and our partner’s sexual passion through all of our senses. Take turns blindfolding each other and feeding each other different fruits and wines. Be sure to slowly feel the texture with your lips and the complexities of taste with your tongue as if tasting the food or drink for the first time. Try whispering fantasies or dirty words into each other’s ears. Give each other an erotic massage, which is a sexy and relaxing way to awaken the touch sense for both the receiver and the giver. Stimulate each other all over with different sensations, such as feathers, vibration, or your fingernails (carefully). Listen to different types of music for different sexual sessions and see how it influences the atmosphere of each. Anything you do together to awaken your senses is positive because once you’re aware of them; your partner can read them more consistently and anticipate your desires more readily.

Move
Tantra encourages you to get out of your head and let your body move freely. One way to start this is by dancing. Dancing releases the Kundalini energy, which, in Tantra, is life-force energy held in the sacrum of each person. To awaken this energy, grab your partner, put on some music with a heavy beat, and let the music take over control of how your body moves. You can also perform a striptease for your partner to release your Kundalini energy and get your partner’s sexual energy ready!

Breathe
The importance and power of breath is not only central to Tantra, but to sex in general. When done with tantric influence, breathing can be an erotic and intimate way to connect with your partner. To try this, sit across from your partner. As your partner breathes out through their mouth, breathe in at the same time and imagine their breath going through your mouth and down through your body out through your genitals. Your partner should be imagining the opposite – they should be catching your breath with their genitals and releasing it through their mouths. After 5 minutes, rotate directions. This circular breathing will get you connected and energized with your partner whether you proceed to have sex or not.

Get into the Yab Yum Position
This position is a common tantric position because it symbolizes the sacred union between partners. You can get into this position whenever you want to be intimate and hold each other or during lovemaking to cool the heat of passion but remain connected, especially if you want to delay orgasm or ejaculation. It can be done with or without penetration.

1) Partner 1 sits cross-legged, in the lotus position, on a cushion. Partner 2 sits comfortably on partner 1’s legs. You may like to sit on cushions to feel more at ease at first.
2) Partner 2 wraps her legs around partner 1’s back.
3) Both partners place their right hand at the back of their partner’s neck and their left hand on their partner’s tailbone. Place your foreheads together so the centers of your foreheads touch. (This area is known as the ‘third eye’ and is associated with psychic intuition and transcendence). Feel the deep, intimate connection between you, and enjoy the sense of feeling loved, safe, and powerfully connected.

Within all relationships, sex can become routine. We might think we know everything about our and our partner’s desires and hot spots. Tantra encourages us to honor and bond with our partner while expanding your ideas of eroticism and desire. It views lovemaking as a way to restore harmony and peace not only to your relationship, but to the way you interact with everyone else around you. So light some candles, take deep breaths, and begin your journey to Enlightenment through sex. Namaste.

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Can’t Get It Up?

Tuesday, March 6th, 2012

Whether or not you call it erectile dysfunction, ED, or impotence, it can be a source of stress for many couples. Different people experience different patterns of ED. Some men lose their erection during sex, some have difficultly getting hard at all, while others are able to achieve erection only in the morning. Broadly defined, ED is the inability to sustain an erection sufficient for sexual intercourse, the inability to achieve ejaculation, or both. It does not generally include other symptoms such as lack of libido, inability to ejaculate or the inability to achieve orgasm.

Impotence happens to most men at one point in their life for physical, emotional, psychological or mixed reasons, including medication side effects, diseases, injuries, and disorders that impair blood flow to the penis. Some instances of ED are situational or sporadic due to non-health issues (such as stress or alcohol related). Cases like this can be lessened with cock rings, which are meant to be worn at the base of the penis shaft next to the body and are designed to keep blood in the penis to create a longer lasting erection.

If the ED is situational, don’t fret too much. Remember there are other ways to pleasure each other that don’t involve getting a hard on. Give each other an erotic massage, focus on other erogenous areas (neck, lips, nipples, and anus) or explore with sex toys. Also, if you are suffering from situational ED, take the opportunity to focus the love session on solely pleasuring your partner. Your partner might feel like they are the cause of your situational ED, which can lead to feelings of unattractiveness or rejection. By focusing on your partner, you can show them that they and their pleasure are still important to you and the relationship dynamic. Give them a prolonged oral session, read erotica to them as they masturbate, or anything else you know makes them feel good.

Sometimes ED persists due to other mental or physical health issues. Within a relationship, this type of ED often heavily affects both partners. Without a mutual understanding and open communication about needs and desires, even the healthiest relationship can crash and burn. Fortunately, open communication can help couples and individuals adjust and realign their attitudes toward sex and masculinity to create a positive and mutually satisfying sex life.

The first step to combating ED is admitting that it exists. This allows for discussions about plans of actions and support to develop. Set up an uninterrupted time to have a conversation about how each of you is feeling and different possible plans of action. Agree to share everything during this conversation, positive or negative.

For Men
Before the conversation, begin to examine your own contributions to the problem (smoking, weight gain, etc) and what you are willing to do medically or to adjust your lifestyle. Also, think critically about how ED is affecting you and your assumptions and values of sexuality, masculinity, and relationship expectations. You don’t need a speech planned out, but these topics often arise in conversations about ED and it is nice to have a starting point.

For the Partner
Before the conversation, women should explore their own assumptions and values on the issue. Be ready to talk about your expectations and attitudes toward sex, masculinity, and relationship expectations. Allow for your partner to set the pace of the conversation by watching his body movements and not getting into too much too quickly. Remember that men are often reluctant to talk about ED for many reasons (fear of aging, threats to masculinity, worrying about satisfying partners), so rushing him runs the risk of you getting stonewalled. Be sure to focus on your role of supporting him and working together toward a common goal of mutually satisfying and intimate sexual relationship.

Some partners are concerned that they are no longer attractive or arousing. However, this is usually not the case. Your partner will need you to be a solid source of support. If he says it’s not because of you, believe him and focus on supporting him, not on your insecurities.

During the Conversation
Throughout the conversation, keep in mind the goals are cooperation, effective talking and listening, and problem-solving. Try to focus on fixing the issue rather than blaming each other or shutting down completely. It might not be an easy or fun conversation, but like most relationship issues, staying silent about it won’t fix it. Don’t be afraid to share fears or worries. Full disclosure is needed to fully take on whatever arises from the conversation.

If you start to get worked up during the conversation, take a few deep breathes and count to ten. If you are still finding the conversation too tense, break for 15-30 minutes and organize your thoughts and feelings. However, be sure to come back together and resolve any stress rather than leaving the conversation because of emotional reasons. Like other relationship issues, not resolving it will only make it worse.

After the Conversation
After discussing the issue with your partner, agree to talk to a doctor about it and get a complete medical exam. Erectile dysfunction can often be a symptom of a bigger health issue, so you should talk to a doctor about it even if you and your partner figure out everything in terms of your sex life. Visiting the doctor can be done together or separate. Some men find having a person who shares the problem helpful in support and remembering questions for the doctor, plus it helps to have an extra pair of ears. If your man does not want you to come, respect his decision but agree to talk about what the doctor said together afterwards.

Next, learn about types of treatment and what works best for you as a couple sexually, intimately, and economically. Not all treatments work for all people, so try to not get discouraged if everything doesn’t go smoothly the first few times. Treating ED can be an intimate and fun journey of rediscovery of your partner both physically and emotionally. Although ED can be a difficult hurdle for some couples, taking it on together can reward you with a mutually satisfying relationship.

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How to Kiss Your Lover

Wednesday, February 1st, 2012

The kiss can be a sign of simple affection or an intense moment of intimacy between two lovers. Whether it’s the first time or the five millionth time, kissing is a great way to show affection, intimacy, passion, and desire this Valentine’s day. Here are some things to consider before puckering up for your current or potential lover.

Kisses gain much of their power from the mouth and what it can do. Before you begin kissing, you want to make sure your mouth is in top shape. Good oral hygiene can go a long way. Floss and brush your teeth at least twice a day, being sure to brush the roof of your mouth and your tongue. To get kissable lips, brush them with a clean toothbrush and a little petroleum jelly every day and use a moisturizing lip balm throughout the day. Drinking water also helps prevent chapped or cracked lips, which is more prevalent this time of year.

Before the Kiss
Now that your mouth is looking and feeling sexy, it’s time to make some moves. When it comes to kissing, use the most effective weapons you have, which are your eyes, your hands, and your mouth. Use your eyes to catch and maintain eye contact, flirt, and focus on the pair of lips you want to kiss. Use your hands to draw attention to your lips by gently running your fingers across your bottom lip, or reach out and touch the arm of the person you want to kiss.

Your mouth is your most important tool for kissing. Use it to flirt with your potential kissing partner by talking in a soft whisper or biting your lower lip. When desiring a kiss, try to keep your lips soft and parted. This body language shows interest and relaxation while making your lips look fuller. You can also use your mouth to verbally ask for a kiss or ask your partner if he or she wants to kiss you.

For women, a little lip enhancement can go a long way. Blood flows to the lips when they are aroused, making them plump-up and turn deeper shades of reds and pinks. To mimic this natural sign of arousal, use a lip plumper like Cake Delicious Kisser Lip Plumper to make lips looks bigger and smoother. You can also pinch your lips for a quick hit of color, or use a red lollipop for a light tint and delicious taste.

During the Kiss
There is much more to kissing than just pressing two pairs of lips together. Kissing involves different types of messages, movements, and body parts depending on the situation. A light, full-mouthed kiss can be used to show someone you desire them while a long kiss on the forehead can show someone you care about them. Some kisses are immediately intimate and deep, while some begin as soft, open-mouthed kisses and progress to full-on French kissing marathons. Whatever the kiss, be sure to enjoy the moment, because a kiss means that somebody cares about you.

You can experiment with different techniques using the various parts of your mouth. Use your lips to nibble softly on your partner’s lips or earlobes, or apply light suction to their tongue or nipples. Use your tongue to trace your partner’s lips or massage their tongue. When your lips are interlocked, pull away slightly and whisper into your partner’s mouth, or slowly breathe back and forth into each others’ mouth for a strong experience of each other.

You can also enhance your kiss with different sensations and different smells. Eating herbs, candy, mints, or honey before kissing can make your kisses sweet and memorable, while applying some Ice Queen Gel to you gums beforehand will make your kisses cool and minty. For a more fruity taste, try licking candy like skittles and running them across your lips or apply some Nipple Nibblers for delicious taste and tingling sensation. And kissing is not limited to lips. Try these different techniques and different sensations on other sensitive parts of the body, including ears, neck, shoulders, hands, feet, nipples, and genitals.

After the Kiss
Whether or not the kiss lasted one second or was an all-nighter, be sure to show the person or people you’ve been kissing that you enjoyed it. This can be verbally through words or gentle moans or through a smile. If you don’t like the person’s kissing style, you can encourage the things you do like or ask that they do it a certain way. Kissing styles vary from individual to individual, and there are exciting things about all types. Regardless of the type, kisses are a great way to show lovers, friends, and family that you care about them.

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Female Ejaculation

Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012

Female Ejaculation has intrigued and eluded humanity for centuries. In ancient Rome female ejaculate was equally as important as male semen in creating the “liquid of life” during reproduction. Cultures in ancient India referred to female ejaculate as  “The Nectar of the Gods” while women in 16-18th century Japan often owned decorative bowls specifically for catching female ejaculate, which was known for its anti-aging properties when drank.

Scientifically, female ejaculation has not been studied very in-depth. The research that does exist suggests that the ejaculate is a clear alkaline fluid that contains glucose (a sugar) and prostate-specific androgen, which was for a long time thought to be produced only in the male prostate (hence the name). It is not urine, although it contains trace amounts of urea and creatinine, and is expelled from the Skene’s glands as opposed to the urethra (where pee comes from).

Not all women can ejaculate, some women ejaculate very little, and others ejaculate internally rather than squirting externally. Because of the variation between women’s instances of ejaculation, current statistics about the percentage of women who ejaculate vary greatly between 6% and 40%, while some people claim that 100% of women have the potential to ejaculate. If you are interested in exploring female ejaculation, here are a few things to consider.

Explore Your Body
Many women are hesitant to ejaculate because the sensation closely resembles that of having to urinate and they are embarrassed or nervous to pee everywhere. One way to combat this is to explore female ejaculation without a partner. An important step when exploring female ejaculation is to relax and be alone to allow for exploration of your body without added pressure to perform.  

Another thing to remember about female ejaculation is that it is often easier to achieve for some women after being very turned on. To get warmed up, try taking a relaxing bath with a waterproof vibrator or touching yourself while reading erotica. Get your body and mind excited about the different sensations and fantasies rather than focusing on orgasms or ejaculating. Just enjoy the experience and the stimulation moment by moment.
          
Now that you’re feeling sexy, it’s time to find your G-Spot. Many women achieve ejaculation through heavy G-Spot pressure or massage. For self-stimulation, choose a vibrator or dildo with a curve or ridge, such as the popular Lelo Gigi or Njoy Pure Wand, that allows you to reach the inner part of your vagina, which is prime territory for the G-Spot. Try different movements and positions to find what feels good and comfortable for you.

Invite Your Partner
If you want to try female ejaculation with a partner, keep in mind where the G-Spot is located. Rear-entry positions and women on bottom positions in which her hips are tilted up are good for hitting the G-Spot.  A couples’ vibrator such as the We-Vibe III applies pressure on the G-spot before and during penetration while increasing arousal through vibration.  And don’t forget the lube!

If you are nervous about the sensation of peeing or want to avoid the clean-up, a good way to experiment with female ejaculation is in the bath or shower where flowing water seems natural. Also, a waterproof blanket, such as the Luscious Sex Blanket, allows you to get into your most comfortable position and keep your sheets or couch dry and is machine washable.

For more information, there are educational books and videos, such as Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot by Deborah Sundahl or Maximizing G-Spot Pleasures. 

G-Spot massage can be a very intense and seemingly long process. Just remember to take your time and enjoy the experience. If ejaculation happens, it happens. In the end you still get heavily stimulated and learn more about your body and capabilities.

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Private dancer: How to Strip for Your Lover

Tuesday, December 6th, 2011

Stripping for your partner is an extremely erotic and sensual holiday gift for your sweetheart. Here are Honey’s tips for performing a jaw dropping private event.

Getting Prepared
Stripping is all about being confident! This confidence comes from practice and comfort. If you don’t know where to start, watch instructional videos with professional dancers, like Strip to It – Bump N’ Grind, or striptease fitness classes, which are gaining popularity across major cities. These videos and classes teach you some awesome moves in a comfortable environment while working out your entire body.  Once you have some general ideas, make the moves your own! Stripping is about feeling sexy within your body, and letting it move naturally, rather than trying to recreate a specific move.

Looking the Part
Now that you have the confidence, you need to plan the performance.  Your music choice should be long enough to last the duration of your striptease without repeating songs. The outfit you choose should make you feel sexy while being easy to remove. Heels are a must because they define your legs and butt, make your posture straighter, and are easy to seductively kick off. You can also incorporate accessories into your performance or enhance your final reveal with pasties or body jewelery. Also, be sure you don’t overlook pubic hair as an accessory! (See last month’s blog for reference). A notable reference book for further enhancing all your body parts is The Stripper’s Guide to Looking Great Naked.

A good way to decide on what to wear, what props to use and what music to use is to come up with a theme. Here are some classics:

Dark and Dangerous
Clothes: Zip-up Leather Corset, Fishnet Thigh Highs, Black Pasties
Props: Leather Crop, Handcuffs (for your audience)
Songs: “Pour some sugar on me” by Def Leppard, “Cherry Pie” by Warrant

Strip Club Standard
Clothes: Rainbow Fishnet Bikini
Props: Dollar bills in G-string, Wig
Songs: “Milkshake” by Kelis, “I touch myself” by The Divinyls

Slow and Seductive
Clothes: Maison Close Divine Mascarade, Sheer Ribbons Bra & Panty Set, Maison Close Garter Suspenders, Sheer Stockings
Props: Satin Lycra Gloves, Lelo Tantra Feather Teaser
Songs: “Justify my Love” by Madonna, “Cream” by Prince, “Bump N’ Grind” by R. Kelly

Flirty and Feminine
Clothes: Pink Heart Pasties, heeled slippers, Shirley Love Game Lace Garter, Bijoux Flamboyant Body Jewelry in Rosa
Props: Feather Boa
Music: “That’s the way love goes” by Janet Jackson, Seduction: Erotic Dance Rhythms CD 

Setting the Mood
Lighting is the easiest way to set the mood for a striptease. Candlelight is a great option because if creates a flickering glow that continually adds to the tease by popping your increasingly naked body in and out of the shadows. If you have ample time to prepare for the striptease, you can pick up different colored light bulbs from a local drugstore (pinks, reds, purples, and oranges are the most flattering).

Scents can also easily enhance your stripping routine.  Essential oils can be mixed with water and sprayed on your body, added to lotion for an all-over body scent, or diffused throughout the room by being rubbed onto warm light bulbs.

Making the Moves
Now that your look is completed and the mood is set, you’re ready to start taking off some clothes! The most important thing is to always keep moving, even if it’s just one hand going slowly across your body. Your hips are the easiest thing to keep moving and allow both you and the audience to get into the rhythm of the music and the theme. You can run your hands on your body, shake your butt, play with your underwear straps, or whatever makes you feel sexy.

Eye contact is a must for stripteases. It allows you to seduce your audience while maintaining control of the situation. You can also follow your lover’s gaze as a way to see what he or she is enjoying or wants you to take off next.

Be aware of your posture while dancing. Good posture will help you look more confident and push your boobs out a little more, which never hurts during a striptease. Wearing heels will help this naturally.

Rather than just dancing back and forth, utilize the room and what’s in it. A doorway can become something against which you can dance, a table can be used to prop up your leg and slowly take of your stockings, chairs (particularly the one in which your audience is sitting) can be straddled and grabbed for leverage, and the floor can be used to crawl away/toward your audience.

Extra Credit Striptease:
Finish your performance by letting your partner watch you masturbate on your “stage”. It’ll be an image he won’t soon forget.

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Personal Grooming

Monday, October 31st, 2011

Pubic hair is a sexy accessory that is often overlooked. Changing your pubic hair can be a great way to surprise your lover or make yourself feel cleaner or sexier. Whatever the reason, whatever the amount, and whatever the shape, the following steps will help get your pubic area looking the way you want!

Get into Position!
Here are some positions that make reaching the hair down there easier (and help prevent cuts!!!)
On your back: Spread your legs wide apart and raise them in the air. This helps keep the areas you are going to shave tight and easy to reach.
Squatting: Keep your legs at least should-width apart and bend them at the knees. This makes the pubic area easy to reach and easy to see if you put a mirror on the floor.
Standing-up: Lift one leg up and rest your foot on something.
Sitting down: 1) Sit with one of your feet propped above your waist and the other one resting on the floor. 2) Prop both feet above your waist and spread your legs far apart.

Prepare your hair
Trim the hair as short as you can get it. Use an electric trimmer, clippers, or scissors (cautiously!). Razors are designed to remove short hair and stubble and will just pull and irritate longer hair rather than removing it. Warm the area to be shaved with warm water or a warm compress for about 3 minutes. This softens the hair, makes the hair stand up easier, opens the hair follicle, and relaxes the skin, all of which help make hair removal easier and less painful. Now you hair is ready to be removed!

Dry Shaving
Dry shaving is an easy way to remove pubic hair without lathering or showering. To do this, you will need an electric razor or a personal shaver like the Wahl Delicate Definitions Personal Trimmer. These are more of an initial investment than disposable razor blades, but they last much longer and many people are happier with the results. After soaking in warm water, dry the area completely. Apply a talc-free powder like Kama Sutra Honeydust to remove any excess body oil or moisture in the area to be shaved (be careful not to get it in your penis or vagina). Use your electric razor or personal shaver to remove hair in a circular motion, trying to avoid going over the same area more than once and be sure to hold skin taunt.  Because of the design of electric razors, you can shave in any direction without cutting yourself. When done, rinse the area to remove trimmed hair and any remaining powder. Use a loofah or jute brush to exfoliate the area and help prevent ingrown hairs. Apply a fragrance-free and alcohol-free lotion, baby oil, or silicone based lubricant to the area to help condition the skin afterwards. If you are prone to ingrown hairs and razor burn, you might want to invest in a post-shave balm.

Wet Shaving
Another common way to remove pubic hair is with wet shaving. For wet shaving, you will need a shaving cream/gel/oil or conditioner. Wet shaving without a lather can lead to razor burn and ingrown hairs, and in general the rule is the thicker the lather, the more protected your skin will be (It’s also a good idea to patch test the lather on another part of skin beforehand to make sure it won’t react negatively with your sexy parts). You will also need a razor. Make sure that you use a new razor blade or a new disposable razor for genital shaving. The genital skin is thinner and more sensitive than other areas and a dull blade will just pull hair instead of remove it. Now that you have your razor and lather, apply the lather to the area to be shaved and let it sit for about four minutes to help soften the hair, keep the hair erect, reduce friction, and condition the skin (this can be done while you’re washing the rest of your body). Once you are ready to start shaving, hold the razor in one hand and hold your skin taught with the other. Begin shaving in the direction of the hair growth. Although shaving against the direction of hair growth can give you a closer shave, it can cause more irritation and ingrown hairs. If you find that you are not sensitive to these issues, by all means shave in any direction you want. To remove the hair most efficiently and with the least amount of irritation, you will want to make light strokes with the razor. If you find that you need to apply pressure to the razor to remove hair, you are probably using a dull razor. Also, take your time with each stroke of the razor. Slow strokes reduce the chance of cutting yourself, missing hairs, or causing razor burns while shaving in the direction of the hair growth helps minimize the chance of ingrown hairs. Be sure there is shaving foam wherever you are shaving and try not to go over the same spot twice, both of which will reduce razor burns and irritation. And be sure to rinse the blade after each pass as hairs on the blade can interfere with shaving. Once all the hair is removed, rinse off any remaining shaving cream and splash the area with cold water to help tone the skin. Apply a fragrance-free and alcohol free lotion, baby oil, or silicone base lubricant to the area to help condition the skin afterwards.

Making Patterns!
Genital shaving doesn’t mean you have to shave everything. For instance, if you wanted to shave a landing strip or a specific shape (like a heart) into your pubic hair, you would follow the same steps as dry or wet shaving with a few added steps.

First off, pick a shape you want. You can make your own stencil with paper, a pencil, and scissors. You can also print out some “pubic hair stencils” or if you prefer, you can do it freehand. Once you have your shape in hand or in mind, trim your hair down to the length you want the hair left on your body to be. Apply a layer of thick lotion or cream (conditioner works) to the underside of the stencil and place it where you want the design. Once the stencil is in place, press it down firmly and continue to trim the hair around it. Now that you have a shape that is different lengths than the rest of the hair, begin warming the area with water or a hot compress. For extra precision, use a brightly coloured lip or eye liner pencil to outline the shape before you lather up. Now it’s time to start shaving! For shapes, it’s easiest to use something you can see through a lather, like conditioner. With a fresh blade, start shaving the area around the shape (you can leave the stencil on or take it off; whatever is easiest for you). Once the shape is the only hair left you can go over it again with an electric trimmer to get the hair the length you want it. Follow the same aftercare steps as outlined in the dry shaving and wet shaving sections and you’re done!

If you opted for a ‘brazilian’ where all the hair is removed, vajazzling the area with sexy crystals like the Bijoux Flamboyant Body Jewellery will certainly leave lasting memories!

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Sex, Orally

Tuesday, October 4th, 2011

Dirty talk can be a great way to ignite or enhance desire in and out of the bedroom. However, many people find it hard to approach the subject because it can make them feel nervous for whatever reason. We’re here to tell you that learning and incorporating dirty talk into your sexual relationships can be easy and fun! Here are our tips for helping you become more confident in your oral skills.

You’re nervous about…..

Killing the moment by saying something offensive to your partner. A good place to start is with a discussion about dirty talk outside of the bedroom. Talk about words or phrases that you want to hear or really turn you on as a way to give your partner a guaranteed win the first time they try to talk dirty. One way to do this is to each write down three phrases or words that turn you on, then exchange lists. Establishing boundaries and dislikes is also important in this discussion. Remember that what excites one person might offend another. Tell your partner if there are any words you don’t want to hear, and be sure to respect your partner’s boundaries in return. If there is a word or name that you really like but your partner doesn`t, compromise! For instance, if he likes cunt and you like chocha, settle on something that is less offensive to you but more sexually charged for him, like pussy or vag. Keep the discussion going after talking dirty to let your partner know how you feel. If it’s positive,let them know anytime. If it’s something that made you feel uncomfortable or unsexy, discuss it outside the bedroom at a later time. Remember to stay positive and offer suggestions rather than criticism.

Sounding unsexy to your partner.  Again, the list of likes from the initial discussion gives you a solid foundation to work with in regards to what will turn on your partner. To keep ideas new and expand on previous ideas, set time aside each week to do the list activity, allowing for no repeated sentences. Another way to sound sexy is to find your sexy voice, since anything said in a sexy voice triggers desire in most people. The most important aspects of a sexy voice are: Resonance, pitch, volume, and rhythm. To find your sexy voice, sex educator Violet Blue suggests the following voice exercises: Practice speaking from your diaphragm as opposed to your throat to create a more resonant sound. Also, relaxing your face muscles with a massage or warming mask will help relax your rhythm and volume. To speak softer, lower the volume of your voice and try to hit lower notes. However, this lower pitch can throw off resonance. To find the combination that works for you, say a sentence in a low whisper deeper than your regular voice. Then say it louder, but still a little deeper. Next, start humming with your lips closed. Then say the same sentence in your low whisper voice but with the same resonance as the hum. Practice will make you more confident in your voice, which will help make you more confident in your word choice. You can also use your partner’s voice as a reference for tone, rhythm, and volume.
  
Laughing. If you are afraid that you won’t be able to take dirty talk seriously or you laugh when you get embarrassed, try saying the words out loud when you are alone. Saying them in front of a mirror is a great way to practice eye contact, and saying them out loud during masturbation can help you practice the flow and resonance of your voice in an aroused state. If you feel self-conscious talking dirty while making eye contact, try whispering naughty secrets in your lover’s ear or while in a non-eye contact sex position. You can also leave sexy messages on your lover’s phone or on a steamy washroom mirror.

Not knowing what to say. Keep it simple at first with this basic sentence structure: I love when you/I (insert verb) my/your (insert noun) (insert prepositional phrase*).  Example. I love when you (run) your (fingers) (down my back). After you feel more comfortable, start adding adjectives such as smooth or warm. Another way to feel more confident with talking dirty is by talking about things in the past, present, and future. The past encompasses the things you know you like, the present involves what feels good or what you desire at the moment, and the future includes what you want to do to your lover later. Ex. Thinking about what you did with your tongue last night (past) is making my legs quiver (present). I can’t wait to have you close to me again (future). When in doubt, compliments are always a reliable choice for talking dirty. Ex: I love your _____.Your _____ is so sexy.

Where to start as a couple. If the idea of dirty talk is new to one or both of you, remember to keep it slow and simple. Take time to read some sultry words to each other, whether it’s from the classical poetry of Ovid or Sappho or some modern day erotica.  If you are too nervous to start with actual spoken words, take time to read these dirty words on your own and highlight phrases or words that you like. Then give the erotica to your lover to read. This will give both of you a better understanding of what turns you on and what doesn’t.

Hopefully with these tips you will be dirty talking all over town, whether it’s through a sexy text, a dirty note in your lover’s wallet, or a quiet whisper at the Thanksgiving table. As you explore the art of talking dirty, remember to use positive suggestions and encouragement rather than criticisms. Also, be wary of where you leave sexy phone, email, or facebook messages. You never know who might have access to such things. And, perhaps most importantly, remember that words and phrases will sound the best and most natural if you truly mean them.

References: For confidence and skill building tools, check out The Fine Art of Erotic Talk by Bonnie Gabriel. For ideas of what to say or for dirty story telling check out Sweetlife: Erotic Fantasies for Couples edited by Violet Blue and The Mammoth Book of Best New Erotica edited by Maxim Jakubowski.

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How to Control Premature Ejaculation

Wednesday, August 31st, 2011

So you are ejaculating before you or your partner wants it to happen, studies have shown that this occurs in 30% of all men and most men have experienced pre-mature ejaculation at least once.  A variety of techniques and products can be helpful in controlling premature ejaculation.

Get to understand your body. That feeling you get just before you ejaculate while masturbating, that is the feeling you need to be aware of when getting intimate with your partner. If you don’t know when it’s going to happen you will have a hard time controlling it, so make sure to pay attention during self play and practice delaying gratification by either pulling back or stopping completely.  During intercourse you can stop and kiss and rub your partner while you regain control.  If you are very close to ejaculating, you can firmly press your fingers around the base of your penis in a tight ring to stop ejaculation from occurring.  Changing positions and using your hand or mouth to stimulate her are useful techniques to give yourself time to cool off and restart again and very few lovers would complain about you taking a few moments to just focus on her!

Exercise your kegal muscles, and yes men have them too. The pelvic floor can become weak in men; just as in women, and the stronger your pelvic floor muscles the more control you have over your ejaculation.  These are the muscles you would use to stop peeing mid stream, tighten them in reps of 10 for 10 seconds at a time. Then slowly lengthen the time you hold the muscles tight, just like working out at the gym but this is just less noticeable and can be done anywhere and at any time. And as an added benefit this will help with any age related erectile dysfunction issue as well as give you more powerful orgasms.

Cock rings – cock rings reduce blood flow through the erectile tissue helping to prolong the erection and to stop you from coming too quickly. The Silicone Rings, Maximize Ring or Le Parfait Adjustable Ring are all options for providing you with a snug but comfortable fit.  To use a cock ring you need to put a little lubricant around the inside of the ring to help it slide on comfortably, then put the ring at the very base of your penis or around including the testicles. You want the ring as far back against the base as possible.

Delaying Sprays or Creams – There are many sprays and creams available to help desensitize the skin, hence decreasing the amount of stimulation that can be felt leading to longer sexual intercourse.  Creams and sprays such as the Stud 100 and Pleasure Balm are popular delay products.  The benefit of these items is that they are easy to apply ahead of time and last for approximately 20 minutes to half an hour so you have some spontaneity with your playtime.  The Kama Sutra As One kit provide you with the numbing pleasure balm as well as a warming clitoral gel for her, this helps speed up and enhance her orgasms and delay yours so that you have a better chance of a simultaneous orgasm.

Note: Do no use these spray/creams in combination with a cock ring as you will be unable to feel if you are experiencing too much tightness or discomfort.

Condoms – Condoms themselves help to reduce sensation simply because they create a barrier between you and your partner.  They are a fast and easy way to help give you extra endurance during intercourse and specialty condoms such as Durex Performax have a gentle numbing formulation included in the lubricant as an additional delaying tactic without your partner ever knowing.

Just remember gents, ladies first is always a good rule of thumb.  And if you do come before she does, it doesn’t mean the night is over.  Clean up and spend some time focused solely on pleasuring her, she will be appreciative of your attention and attitude… and you will get to drive her wild!

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Travelling with your Toy!

Tuesday, August 9th, 2011

Planning a summer getaway?  From last minute weekend getaways to week long vacations, it is always exciting to take along something a little naughty for some extra-memorable holiday excursions.

Here are some tips and suggestion on traveling with toys:

Rechargeable vs. Battery operated – depending on where you are traveling, taking along extra batteries or a charger could be a hassle or helpful. If you are traveling overseas or out of the country you may be better off to choose a toy that recharges through a USB port on your laptop rather than an electrical outlet in case there are compatibility issues.  Otherwise, a battery operated toy is another reliable option.  Traveling with a toy that uses easily accessible batteries like AA or AAA instead of specific cell batteries would be another consideration although an extra set can be packed before you travel.

If your favorite toy is a rechargeable one, adaptors are available from most companies.

Top Rechargeable Travel Toys: Lelo Mia

Top Battery Operated Travel Toys: Black Jewel, Water Dancer and Bcute Curve

Waterproof – water can play a huge part of any summer holiday whether it is a private cottage near a lake, a hotel pool, or a private hot tub for two.  It is always a good idea to be prepared with a waterproof toy for any adventurous activity that may arise.

Top Waterproof Travel Toys: Form 2, Fun Factory Flash, Iconic Bullet and Lelo Alia

Storage – if you are travelling by air make sure to pack your toys with the batteries removed and in your checked luggage.  Always remove batteries before travelling in case it accidentally turns on in your luggage and if it is a rechargeable toy, turn the lock function on or store it in its own hard case until you get to your destination. 

If you are travelling with a sex toy in your carry on, also make sure you store the batteries in a separate place so you don’t encounter some accidental buzzing enroute.  And if you do get some question regarding your selection of carry-ons…it is what it is and it happens more often than you think!

Lubricant!  Don’t forget to pack small travel size lubes or transfer some of your favorite into a small travel bottle.

Click here to view Honey’s entire Mini and Bullet sized vibrators to get your summer buzz!

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